New Year Contemplation

On December the 24’th, the Christmas eve, I felt very blessed...double blessed to be precise. Why so?
It was Christmas Eve and having to go to church on this special moment just always gives me comfort. Another thing about that day was that not only I had the chance to go to church, I get to listen to a special sermon led by one of the most special person in my life, my father. It was special, because he didn't just played Mariah Carey's (my favorite singer since I was a child) song, 'O Holy Night, he also shared about two things I was grown up to live with and taught about by him. Those things are: RECONCILIATION and PRAISING GOD for whatever happens in my life, for I live and serve HIM, not for my own glory. Broken relationships were meant to be mended not only as a formality in celebrating Christmas and to feel the temporary joy. 'Practicing peace' is probably the closest way to convey this. And the reason why 'reconciliation' was brought up in his sermon was because there is always a lot of sympathy, compassion and spirit on Christmas. It was nice to get people listening to this (of course, since they were full of spirit). But beyond that, he also wants people to remember what caused Jesus to come here willingly if it wasn't because of his perfect, unconditional love, what else could it be? Compared to what we, sinful, spoiled and unthankful people do, of course our love to our friends, family and people that are related with our lives means nothing. Our hearts are fragile, it gets hurt easily and hurts other's in contradiction even more likely (in some cases for the sake of protection from insecurity). Anyway, the thing about reconciliation just hits me right in the face. "I am the meanest person alive for some people I know, and I don't deserve there kindness". This is what appeared in my head right away after listening to him. "I hurt people, some who I wouldn't even dare to see get hurt". But that's a lie...I did it repeatedly, and every time I want to reconcile, something just always gets in the way..either the plans go wrong or my huge ego just knocked the hell out of me. I tried to change..and probably my efforts were still not good enough. Then, my cousins came to celebrate Christmas at home. Nothing felt better than that, I was surrounded by loveable people who loves each other more than anyone I've ever seen. Daughter to father love, sister to sister love, brother to sister love, cousin to cousin love, niece to aunts and uncles love and a peaceful bond of soul mate love. Then I took a look in the mirror, "why can't I show that kind of love to the ones I really care about? What is my problem?" Then I realized, there is no problem. Their love towards each other seemed free, easy, joyful and smooth, even though there are pretty much chaos here and there. Probably the only problem left is that I have an 'emotional issue' going on. I have too much fear, too much thinking, too much predicting and stuff. There for, rather than building a "bridge" to the person I do care -as much as I care for myself, I've built a "fortress" instead. I'm 21 and I'm supposed to be mature, mature enough to know what's good and what's bad, and what I should do or not and all that. But what does it matter? I can't turn back time...but I do wish that whatever I'll be doing in this New Year, it will be meaningful. Tearing down the fortress will definitely be the first step..and I hope this will please Him as well..All I know is when things are meant to be..it will be..

Masks

There are two things I hate the most in this world:

A hypocrite and a 'know-it-all'

Never did I wish to be one either

So kept my self as clean as I could

Unfortunately...

I live in a world full of mask

No one knows whose fake

And whose true

So here's a simple task

Mention any mask you like

A brainiac mask

A millionaire mask

A wise mask

A sophisticated mask

A lover mask

A rigid mask

A hater mask

Which one would you like?

They're perfect aren't they?

They show a perfect world of hypocrisy

Full of lies, arrogances, and prides

Beware of your neighbors

Who knows what's inside?

Can you tell by their faces?

Take a closer look!

Or should you care?

Some may be shocking

Some maybe predicted

What a shame, what a pity

I may have worn some in a day

And for all that I hate and afraid of

I might have been one too

I hate masks

I really do...

Clockwise

Who am I to urge
Who am I to demand
As the arrows of my clock turns clockwise
And the whole universe tells me to be wise

The arrows of my clock may laugh
And celebrate the confusion
The confusion of being lost in time
And forget what's prime
When present call
It's time to give all

Even if I regret the past
I know It should've last
Why should I mingle with grief
When my time here is brief
When future call
There's no time to fall

For He has given me time
It's worth more than a million dime
And sets three bells ringing in my life
One for my birth
One for my new life
One for heaven's call
As the arrows of my clock turns clockwise
I know I should be wise 

-D.E.N-

Puppets

In a stage with  no director
The black and white puppets play freely and wildly
Following false orders of greed
Fulfilling the dictatorship of the false prophets
Leaving them dreaming for false hope
For the director has long gone
Where is the light?

Who dare wake the baby up
While he was sleeping safe and sound
Deep in the undone dreams
Of joy and brilliant future..
Who do these puppets believe in?
When there are no prophets to trust
Where is the light?

Who dare pull the trigger
In the sight of an innocent boy
Time cannot slow the speed
The hunger of the eyes thy cannot feed
What are these puppets doing?
When the act of the false prophets are despicable  
Where is the light?

As the blue sky turns into crimson
And all that's heard is the cry of the son
The daughters' laughter turn into terror
As the puppets keep playing
In a stage full of psuedo-honor
The ensemble of adhan and bombs keep echoing
Where is the light?

There stood a boy in the center of the stage
Bringing nothing but a peaceful heart and a candle
It's light shine so bright that it's blinding
The baby rocks gracefully in his cradle
Daughters start singing and boys start playing
Their hearts spoke of peace only the wise can hear
They are not puppets nor are they prophets
They are the light.

Roads

Symbols of life appears differently to every person, but for me, roads are the closest symbol that can represent what life is. There will be many paths and types of roads we'll find and pass by in life, and this is what I want to share.. :)


In some fortunate times life can be as easy and smooth as a straight road..

                                                                   
Sometimes it can be unpredictable like a hairpin bend. Surprising and risky,
we can't predict what's on the other side of the road.

Sometimes we are confused and messed up by the drastic changes we face in life, the rise and fall.
From blessings to God's test, from the times of our lives to the worse.

                                                                                                                                                          


And most of the time life can be steep. It needs a lot of effort,
time and energy to reach the top.

  
                    
                                                                       

















And there are also times where God wants us to go through dark tunnels,
without giving us a clue what's in the end, what's waiting for us on the other side of the tunnel. Then we questioned ourselves, "What is His plan?"

But there are two things he never forgets.

1. He never forgets to shine a light in the edge of the tunnel, "the source of light and hope".
2. Only by our "faith" we will be encouraged and assured that in the long, dark path, He's there, holding our   hands and guiding us through the tunnel.

So will we be discouraged whenever our plans don't work out the way we want it to? Is it OUR plan or HIS plan that becomes the focus of our lives? Most importantly, will the obstacles, rise and fall, fear of what comes tomorrow and lack of faith hamper us from delivering His message and carrying out his missions in this world?
Your path, your choices...